Arch Enema

Saving America from French Imperialism

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Kerry Sings Yippee-yi-oh-Kerr-y

And now for a musical diversion, sung
by that old rough-n-tumble he-man War Dog, John Kerry
to the tune of "I'm an old cowhand" aka "Yippee-yi-oh-ki-yay",
which has been modified to the more usable Yippee-yi-oh-kerr-y
in some instances. My apologies to the original songwriter.

I'm a dandy dude
with a platitude
and a plan that's new
every day or two

I'll fire Haliburton just as fast as I can
outsource the jobs to my Frenchie fans
sell plu-to-ni-um to Iran

Workin’ for Schlumberger [that’s slum-ber-jay to you rednecks!]

I'm a clueless guy
with a fancy 'do
Got a pumpkin tan
but I talk real good.

Hired Martin-Short-doin'-Charlie-Sheen
That's who I've got for your next VP
Coulda been worse 'cause it coulda been Dean.

Munchkin-Boy's on the way!

I'm a harrassed man
with a grumpy wife.
She's got sharper edges
than a butcher knife.

Sat me down on the yacht and here's what she said:
"Make me First Lady or you're surely dead.
I'll take all the money and run off with Ted."

She's meaner than Hillary

So, everybody vote for me!


Take a bow, John. The rest of you please feel free
to add verses at your discretion.


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